Did you know that anger is believed to have three components?(Lewis & Michalson, 1983)
The emotional state of anger – The triggers Expression of anger – How it is expressed An Understanding of anger – How to reflect and respond.
So how do we guide children’s (and our) expression of anger?
Create a safe emotional climate at home – A safe setting permits both adults and children to acknowledge all feelings, pleasant and unpleasant, and does not shame anger.
Encourage children to label their anger, because more often than not, anger is a result of an underlying emotion – like shame, guilt, humiliation, embarrassment, etc.
So, today, how about initiating a conversation to understand your anger monsters.
Get together in a circle (regular or virtual) – then take turns to: –
- Talk about an incident when you got angry.
- What was the reason that triggered your anger?
- What was the underlying emotion? You could use this sentence – I was feeling……………. And that’s why I got angry
- How did you react to it?
- How do you feel about that incident now?
What would you do differently if that incident had to happen again?
