Parenting is reliving your childhood but in an adult version!
While you are being a rockstar as a parent, you often stumble upon numerous scenarios where you have to face your fears, relive your childhood memories, recall a few traumatic events, reminisce cherished moments, overcome your insecurities and remember precious lessons. Funny incidents, embarrassing moments, and awkward conversations are a part of the everyday parenting journey.
Parenting is undoubtedly a ride to remember.
As children grow and develop, their relationship with every element evolves. The same element of evolution applies to parent-child relationships. Children grow in stages and phases. It is vital for parents to display a readiness to address the unique age and phase-related concerns with openness and active communication.
Every generation of parents has tried to give their best by being accommodative and adaptive as per the changing norms of society. Clearly, as generations progress, approaches toward children would differ too.
The world today is vocal and expressive towards varied social issues, what were known as ‘taboo’ subjects. Such as the rights of the LGBTQ+ community, prostitution, trafficking, gender bias, pornography, mental health issues, and most importantly sex.
As parents, you might know it, you may also know the science behind it, you may know how the system and the society work, and you might also know the ‘concepts’. But, the hardest part is to break these subjects into pieces and hold meaningful conversations with children especially, with teenagers.
“Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on earth.
Treated like children, but expected to act as adults
-Anonymous”
Talking about sex with teenagers is a tricky affair. The uncertainty in the nature of questions and reactions is high. As parents, it is important to understand that the preparation to deal with teenagers begins way before they truly enter the teenage. The foundation to bond and build a space to share begins at maybe 5!?
Nevertheless, here are some powerful tips for you to build clarity, and educate your teen about sex.
1. Revisit, and upgrade to what you know about sex, reproductive systems, roles, and responsibilities. Look for authentic sources, and speak to experts. A quick and apt preparation would do no harm.
2. Remember, they could be more exposed to these topics, most probably in healthy and unhealthy ways. But, avoid assumptions and judgments. It’s the hormones and not them.
3. Your job is to correct, restructure, create awareness, and most importantly indicate that there is a ‘space’ to openly talk and share about these subjects.
4. Talking about Sex-isn’t primarily about discussing sexual acts, it is also the realm of it. Such as pleasures, fantasies, body image, disorders, growth and development, relationships, respect, consent, precautions, safety, privacy, and protection.
5. The purpose here is to provide tools, equip them and shift perspectives to ‘what to do, rather than what not to do!’ in crisis and concerns.
6. Quietly observe your children as they grow. Try to pitch in whenever required instead of piling up the issues and addressing them all at once. One thing at a time works well! Sex education is not one single conversation, it is an ongoing process.
7. Use words, just good words. Communication is a powerful tool. Holding short and simple conversations does a lot more than indirect, complicated, overly sugar-coated dialogue.
8. Use real-life experiences, and share your own journey about the way you processed things in your teenage years. It is a wonderful way to connect. After all, you have been there and done that!
9. Remember, you may not have all the answers. Be open to new thoughts, rigid minds, and weird questions, as it is not a one-day show!
10. Find your style! Every parent-child can figure out what works well for them as a team. Through observation and conversation, the awkward conversations could run smoothly.
Research tells that teens who have regular healthy conversations with their parents and stakeholders about sex and relationship are less likely to take risks with their sexual health, practice healthy habits and respond objectively.
It is important to acknowledge the fact that there is a tremendous amount of curiosity surrounding by these subjects. The wise thing to do is to address them with awareness.
If a teenager walks towards you fearlessly to seek help, with questions, and resolve issues, it is indicative of a strong relationship. All we have to do is cherish them!
Are you dealing with a teenager?
What are your experiences?
Share your thoughts
